I Don't Want To, But I Do

It's the last Friday of summer.  I'm feeling...conflicted...about that.

There is a part of me that has been conditioned over a lifetime to view summer vacation as the best three months of the year and to dread it's end.  What's not to love about day after day of no work to go to, right?

Then there's another part of me that is more than ready to go back to work, because...and it makes me feel like a failure to admit this...I get bored over the summer.  I don't see a lot of people during the summer and this year has been particularly bad because of the whole thing with not having a car to use. (None of my friends live close by.)  It might not be so bad if my husband and I did a lot together, but he works long hours, has a long commute, and is just too tired to play most of the time.

We can also throw in the whole A.D.D. thing.  I'm kind of adrift during the summer.  I need the structure of regular work hours to keep myself functioning efficiently.  Without it, I become the queen of time-wasting and procrastination.

Now I'm adding guilt into the mix...as in I'm feeling guilty for how much time the dogs are going to be on their own this year. It wouldn't normally bother me, but the hound is getting older and has health issues.  I want him to be "happy" for however many more years he's got.  Then there's the Poodle.  Sigh. She is getting aggressive...attacking the hound, barking incessantly at everyone and everything, nipping at people's ankles when they walk.  Researching the issue tells me she is probably bored.  Like that will improve when I go back to work.

Bittersweet as it is, I guess the bottom line is that I'm excited about the new school year.  I'm looking forward to seeing the kids that ride my bus again, having that structured format to my days, and admittedly, the challenge of having to get organized if it's all going to work.

Happy Friday and let's enjoy this finally weekend of summer!